It all started with a mirthful conversation in Jim’s car as we passed huge car dealerships.
-“What’s going on with car names these days? Where did simple things like EH & FJ go?
-“Well, this car’s called a Touareg.”
-“What does Touareg mean?”
-“I’m told it’s the name of an African tribe.”
-“So what are VW trying to tell us about this car by calling it after an African tribe? Are they saying that if those tribesmen had a car, this would be the one they’d choose? Or if you live in terrain like Africa, you should buy a Touareg?”
-“Maybe, if we want to be like African tribesmen we’ll drive this car.”
-“Or maybe we can fit the whole tribe in this car!”
-“”That’s it, the family vehicle.”
-“Then what is Tiguan, the smaller VW 4WD’s name?”
-“That’s another tribe, but a smaller one.”
-“Have you seen those Ford Suburbans? – The car for the ‘burbs.”
-“They’re enormous, the car you can fit the whole suburb in! The one I couldn’t bring myself to buy is the Captiva. I’d hate to be captive in it.”
The miles were eaten up as we talked about car names and then politics and we decided the problem with things was that there were no Statesmen in politics anymore. David piped up from the back,
“Holden Statesman: Holden should make the Politician,”
and so we revisited the whole car name thing but this time imagining what the cars would be like if they were named after politicians… the Rudd with big bug eyes and knives, the Hanson in red with an all white (i.e no-black) interior, the Vanstone with floral inside, the Keating with an antique French Clock in the dashboard instead of a speedo, the Wran with Teflon coated upholstery, the Mitsubishi Wong with climate control rather than air conditioning … and so on, finishing with the Brown.
At the office Monday morning staff meeting, we took it up again with more of the staff. Maryanne added to the Keating that it had pinstripe upholstery.
The final one to come out of this session? The Downer.
And so, we present..